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All The Lights On

by Tyler North

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1.
Heaven 04:30
This whole world, could be mine, and yours too if you take my hand Through the clouds, we will fly, in the lights of the great divine This is heaven, harmony, peace we've all earned at last Beautiful, as we are, engulfed by a storm of love Gazing at the sky in an open field, the movement of the wind makes me feel so real Nothing could possibly go wrong right now, I have you all to myself for the night And we'll rest here forever, feeling so tranquil, we don't have to say any words at all I love you with all my heart, and I hope I never have to let you go You are everything in the world to me, you are all I'll ever need You are all I'll ever want, and I'm sensing that the feeling is mutual
2.
My love, you look so beautiful, dressed in white and standing tall Your lips decorated and yearning for the touch, from the one with his face in his hands You look so amused by surrounding filth, charmed by the confidence of naivety My juxtaposing demeanor; comatose love, waiting for nothing, dressed up in facade The music's getting louder, but I'm hearing nothing, lost in the eyes of the love that slipped away It's bright, it's torture, our fate, our future, Christmas lights laughing in my face The job's been done, the spreading of joy, holiday cheer from our hands and our mouths You are still willing to have this dance that I'm putting off due to my fear of your love You could be so close but I hide away from the things that seem too good to be true My mouth is so dry, my eyes are so wet from these sleepless nights thinking all about you
3.
Right here within boundaries long set, I'm back from another upset Don't bet on guaranteed regret I've been here too many times to give myself for love to cope through Recognizing, I am walking in a loop Visiting the hell that is the fairground Luckily this rain will cause the day to drown Repress these demons in my head that I've found My eyes are closed, no need to make a sound Wasting more of my time at the fairground No one should ever subject themselves to this Never again will you be the same Leave me here to rot, it's what you have always done best Don't mind me as I stand here drenched in the pouring rain This will all mean nothing one day, I already don't care I can see where you're going, same place as me somewhere far away We will die young not caring about anything at all We will live our few years irresponsibly treating ourselves Carelessly indulging in whatever comes our way Whether it be safe or dangerous, whatever feels good You're nowhere to be found, I almost forgot what you look like
4.
I said all the right words that particular night I loved better than I had ever loved before And I was flattered to know that you needed me So bittersweet, so far away Mutual craving of death, it's been so heavy way too long We stared aimlessly at the meaningless horizon A look in your eyes I have never seen before It's happening so fast, it's not happening at all All the lights on, seeing too much, among silence, I felt nothing
5.
Yesteryear 05:03
In retrospect I'm glad that you never loved me The way I loved you, it's how I met myself It was yesteryear when I felt the warmth of your dishonesty Throughout the most brisk of days, I felt nothing at all but my blind faith And I still see us in my dreams, years have passed, and we're still lost in the rain, drenched in the beauty of our desire to kill each other Your dress matching the color of the fear you forced out of my mouth My mind as contorted as the curls within your pretty hair Together we lost the entirety of our minds We were both as good as dead when our eyes fatefully connected This faulty recollection I have, tells just as much as all of your lies, romanticize, what never was and never will be
6.
Futility 07:54
It's come to my attention that nothing means anything I've been wasting all of my life pretending Curiosity has long escaped me All in the face of this never-ending futility I fall asleep to nightmares and wake up to the worst one No matter how hard I try, I always come up so short I've lived my life, it's over, there's nothing left for me to do Tediously telling myself the same lies, such as I will one day find a meaningful love There's no chance at all, I'm too far gone I fall asleep to nightmares and wake up to the worst one No matter how hard I try, I always come up so short I want to love again even if it kills me I need to feel something other than nothing You're all the same, you're all pretty and boring Days all come in waves, all with the same motion I fall asleep to nightmares and wake up to the worst one No matter how hard I try, I always come up so short

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released October 31, 2012

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Tyler North Pawtucket, Rhode Island

Years and years of ongoing unrequited love.

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