Octcembruary Regurgitated

by Tyler North

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1.
00:55
2.
04:58
3.
03:27
4.
06:40
5.
07:10

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released January 29, 2014

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Tyler North Hopkinton, Rhode Island

Years and years of ongoing unrequited love.

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Track Name: IJAG
"I'm just a girl"
Track Name: Octcembruary
I had a dream in which the world was ending and everything was on fire
No one chastised me for smoking a cigarette in the auditorium
The orchestra played my song beautifully note by note
You were standing there in the spotlight singing a song of your own

The day after Christmas, I finally met you,
in a bedroom down the road
I vomited that night
I vomited so much that night

You looked so pretty with your eyes closed and arms around me
And you looked so scary with your arms closed and eyes all around me
And I'd like to thank you for the sacrifice you made for me
And I'd like to thank you for the night you gave me

A cold October Monday night, you forgot my coffee
And we each drank a heavy beer,
and empathized about how much we both wanted to die
I cried myself to sleep that night, and vomited the next morning

Pinching myself to see if this is real
My nerves have no response
Self-medicate without food

In my dreams you laugh at me but really it's just me laughing at myself
I could've stopped it, I should've stopped it, I would've stopped it had I known

Repercussions making preparations,
to scare me out of my own town,
and make my life and dreams the same nightmare

In my dreams you laugh at me but really it's just me laughing at myself
I could've stopped it, I should've stopped it, I would've stopped it had I known
Track Name: Morphine
Poor judgment on my part
Intrigued by stimuli
Dismayed by consequence
Staring eyes with no relent

Are my detriments all you can sense?
Justify fear, year after year

Take it for what it's worth
Approaching death on Earth
Abundant goodness long forgotten
Disguised by everything so rotten

To those in pain, you know the drill
Administer Morphine at will

All the lights but one go out at once
That one light stays on me for months
Facade upon facade, my dear
You won't know me until our time is near
Track Name: Dogma
I lie awake staring at the same dark four walls day after day
Waiting for someone to convince me that I am worth anything at all

It was the coldest winter yet, when you decided to return, only to remind me that this will never end
And it all could have been over, if I never had let you back in
It was my decision to let you do this to me

The blizzard has come and gone, I'm on the third day without power
Huddled up beneath every blanket in my house still feeling a draft

And it only gets colder, not just the weather alone
All the food I eat feels just like poison
And it's strange when the shortest of months, feels like the longest of all
Spring is approaching, but I'm already ready for fall


Fifteen months have gone by and you're here again surrounded by snow
glowing like you always have, gracefully and beautifully
Say with hesitation that you do not have any regrets
Smile halfway and swallow my weakly beating heart whole
Trap me in the corner for a good few hours at your friend's house
Exchanging stories of sexual bravado
Drive me home and leave me to my memories and poor appetite
I'll see you again soon, sooner than I'd like

Pandora's box reopened, it seems safe for the time being
I'll lessen the impact with edible painkilling powder
In a week you will leave the one you have always been bound to,
and motion towards me like there's something substantial at hand

You're here again, with all my friends, I'm drunk again, but
fully conscious of every word out of your mouth
Dance with me to our favorite music, go no further than that and
make me feel as if I have everything but everything
Fall asleep upstairs and put my foolishness on pause as I walk
downstairs unaccomplished, sleepless through the night
Drag this on for one more week and know that I will never stop you
Holding back our words, body language says it all

You moved to the other couch, to emphasize the obvious
I'll walk to the corner and angrily talk to myself
You were the last one to leave that night, five long minutes of silence,
with a reluctant final embrace after you sang to me one last time

Toss and wash all of my shame away
Withdraw keep all of my guilt at bay
Shake that bottle, mix the numbness
Muddy Indonesian magic

Oh, that look in your eyes
Oh, the notion of dogma
Oh, that look in your eyes
Track Name: Canary
You were my favorite lullaby, so sing to yourself so you can sleep tonight
Every word you uttered with that voice was music to my ears. Every word's a song

Melting me with those eyes
You were the only one
My only source of light
My only source of life

Held you in my arms for the last time
Although it was brief, I made sure to hold on tight
Hope you know that it is all okay
I've been here before; I've lived here all my life

Nothing left to lose
A life I've never known
A man you'll never meet
Who hasn't met himself
A set of hearts immersed in apprehension

My little fleeting canary, fly where you please
My little fleeting canary, go have what you need